Caring for yourself is one of the most important things you can do for yourself, and it is also one of the easiest things to forget to do or to put aside in favor of tending to others. Good self-care involves small, regular habits that can greatly enhance your body, mind, and spirit. When you care effectively for yourself, you benefit and so do others in your life.

Suppose you’re on an airplane. There’s an emergency, and the oxygen mask drops down in front of you. What should you do? We have all been taught that the first rule is to put your own oxygen mask on before you assist anyone else, including a child. This is because when we help ourselves first, we can then effectively help others.

This is a key guideline to remember when considering the practice of self-care. It is impossible to give to others if you do not first give to yourself. Some say self-care “is like pouring water from a vessel.” If you are refilling the vessel, you can only keep pouring the water. Otherwise, the vessel will eventually run dry (Blum, 2014.)

Self-care also means treating yourself as a worthwhile person. It involves showing yourself (and others) that you are valuable, competent, and deserving of care, compassion, and nurturing.

However, many individuals have belief systems and even believe religious dogma that frames self-care as selfish. They believe serving others is self-less. But is this really true? There are lots of “others” in the world who need help. This means there will always be more people who need help than can be helped by just you. If you believe that self-care is self-less, then you will always be serving others and never receiving anything in return. Without self-care, you may find that you eventually have less energy to help others and feel like you are constantly “running on empty.” If you don’t take care of your own physical and emotional needs before trying to help others, you may begin to experience a decline in your own emotional or physical health. At some point, you won’t be able to take care of yourself and will need others to help you.

Looking after yourself can be difficult because it is provided by you, for you. Individuals can struggle with providing self-care for several reasons including the following (Clark, 2016; GoodTherapy.org, 2016; Paolone, 2016; Serani, 2017.)

• Depression can lead to an inability to care for one’s own condition. If you’re feeling tired, listless, or drained, it is challenging to do anything, including caring for yourself. Depression has long been associated with dysfunction of the frontal lobes of the brain, which control functions such as decision making, self-monitoring, planning, prioritizing, etc.
• Self-care takes work, and by the time many individuals get home from work, shop for food, prepare meals, take care of family members, etc., they find they are tired and cannot project any more energy for anything.
• Survivors of abuse or violence may find it hard to maintain effective self-care habits because of the trauma they have suffered and the potential emotional consequences that result.
• Shame about self-care can result when a person questions whether or not he or she deserves care and compassion in the first place. Social norms often say we have to put others ahead of ourselves, which reinforces that idea as the only “honorable” way to live and behave.
• Confusing self-care with indulgence can make it hard to develop self-care skills. However, one person’s self-care indulgence can be another person’s gateway to self-harm, depending on the person’s relationship with the activity. For example, while eating a specific dessert can be a wonderful self-care routine for someone with a healthy weight and body image, it can be detrimental for someone struggling with weight.
• Cognitive declines associated with dementia can impair self-care skills. Individuals with cognitive decline may not be able to make appropriate decisions, plans, priorities, etc. Self-care becomes difficult, if not impossible.
• Mental illness, such as psychosis, in which the individual has hallucinations or delusions, can affect an individual’s ability to care for him or herself.
• Lack of time to really check in and see how one is feeling is a common barrier to self-care. Many individuals feel they don’t have time to stop and check in with how they are feeling. Their schedules are so busy they feel productive and efficient, whereas taking the time to “check in” often makes them feel vulnerable, unproductive, and compromised in work or family life.

Self-Care Practices for Health and Healing
There are many different kinds of self-care interventions. Some of these take more time than others. Some are free, while others may require minimal resources. Try these and see if they help you care for yourself in a more compassionate way:

• Practice self-reflection and self-awareness
  • Become aware of your personal thinking style
  • Become aware of your intuitive powers
  • Become aware of your emotions and feelings
  • Become aware of your body
  • Become aware of the environment
  • Become aware of how you relate to others
• Create self-care rituals
• Communicate effectively and compassionately with yourself and others
• Use music and sound to heal and soothe your body, mind, and spirit
• Meditate
• Focus on the present moment
• Savor life’s joys
• Eat healthy foods
• Connect with nature
• Engage in art and creative expression
• Dance, move, and/or exercise
• Engage in cleansing ceremonies or rituals (such as smudging, sweating, or fire ceremonies)
• Take part in pleasurable rituals (such as enjoying a morning coffee or walk, enjoying a walk with your dog in the evenings, etc.)
• Find ways to laugh and enjoy humorous activities
• Play!

Caring for yourself is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. It is also one of the things we most easily forget to do, or put aside in favor of tending to others. Good self-care does not have to be difficult or complex. It can involve small self-care habits that, when done regularly, enhance your body, mind, and spirit in big ways. When you care effectively for yourself, you benefit and so does everyone in your life.

References
Blum, C. (2014). Practicing self-care for nurses: A nursing program initiative. OJIN: The Online Journal of Issues in Nursing, 19(3), Manuscript 3

Clark, A. (2016). 6 honest reasons why self-care is so hard (and can feel lousy). Retrieved May 11, 2021 from https://aliciaclarkpsyd.com/why-self-care-is-so-hard/

GoodTherapy.org. (2016). Self-care. Retrieved May 11, 2021 from https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/self-care

Paolone, D. (2016). 3 myths and 2 truths—Why is self-care so hard and how can I overcome it? Retrieved May 11, 2021 from https://onlinecaliforniacounseling.com/self-care-myths-truths-overcome/

Serani, D. (2017). Why self-care is hard for depressed individuals. Retrieved May 11, 2021 from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/two-takes-depression/201702/why-self-care-is-hard-depressed-individuals